Morning Prayer: Tom Lyda Choral Amen Hymn of Faith *Come, Holy Spirit, Heavenly Dove* Witness of Scripture: Matthew 18: 21-22 Anthem *Alleluia* Ralph Manuel. FCC Chancel Choir Sermon *Beyond Calculation* David Spain
Recorded on September 17, 2023
To be called Christian is in some way to be a disciple of Christ, a student, or even a ‘little Christ’ which is to say a follower of Jesus who seeks to embody Christ in our living. We strive to be ‘Christ-like.’ This is not our idea, but Christ’s who said he will be present wherever two or three gather in his name. Well, that seems like a good thing, and we can imagine being like Christ with our living—there are a number of ways it would be helpful and make a difference for the good in this world. To have wisdom like Christ would be wonderful; to be able to teach like Christ or tell a story like Christ would be so good; to have the gift of hospitality and welcome like Christ would be a deep joy; to be healing like Christ would make such an impact; to be courageous like Christ would be a great strength; to be forgiving like Christ would be….well, hold on here. We are now into something very challenging.
We recognize what Jesus taught about forgiveness may be among his most difficult of all teachings to follow. In fact a scholar of world religions, when asked what is the most unusual or unique aspect of Christianity in comparison with most of the world’s religions, commented that Jesus’ teaching about and stress upon forgiveness, including even forgiveness of one’s enemies, is unique. (cited in Pulpit Resource, July-Sept 2023, p. 36). Long before the comparison to other world religions, Jesus’ disciple Peter recognized the challenge of forgiveness. Matthew’s 18th chapter is a hodgepodge of Jesus’ teachings about greatness, about ethical living, about God’s compassion for those who are lost, about how to handle conflict. The disciples, as we know did not always get along, so Jesus addressed it. Peter asks a logical and practical follow-up question.When there are conflicts and people are hurt, what about forgiveness. Peter’s question is courageous; he is asking about how to move through and move beyond difficulties. And he asks Jesus who has already made some startling comments and shown remarkable forgiveness during their journeys through Galilee. Peter wants to know how much forgiveness is helpful; he wants to know if there is a limit to forgiveness? These are courageous and fair questions. What is stunning about Peter’s question is that he is already proposing a very generous spirit of forgiveness. This is no ‘fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.’Peter frames his question about someone in the church or a brother as it is also translated. If someone does something against me, how often should I forgive that person—as many as seven times? We know Jesus well enough to know that he almost never directly answers the question he is asked. Instead, he takes the opportunity to expand everyone’s perspective well past anyone’s expectation, well beyond calculation. Here, Peter offers a hypothetical for Jesus to consider. “What would you advise Jesus, when someone wrongs another person?As you know Jesus, people can be difficult, so even though our religious practice says to forgive three times, what if we doubled that plus one?” Peter offers a gracious perspective. He is talking about a lot of forgiveness.
We note Jesus does not criticize Peter’s suggestion; he simply blows past it. He blows past calculation, blows past keeping account of wrongs. Peter’s reasonable suggestion, magnanimous as it is, is still framed by limits. Jesus’ response reframes the discussion from quantity to quality. Jesus does not respond with an eye toward transaction but with a hope toward transformation. We might remember a similar moment as told in Luke’s gospel. Jesus is asked about eternal life, to which he asks the inquisitor about what is written in the law. The inquisitor correctly answers ‘love God and love neighbor.’ Jesus says do this and you will live; but the inquisitor wants a little clarification about who qualifies as neighbor, he wants to know about the limits of neighbor. We remember Jesus responded with the parable of the good Samaritan, at the end of which the focus was not on who qualifies as neighbor,’ but on how to be neighbor to everyone. Jesus moves from limitation to unbounded; from transaction to transformation. When Peter asks about forgiveness, he wants to know how much. Jesus responds with a way of being and a way of living.
We are honest about forgiveness—it is one of the most difficult aspects to living, and preaching about forgiveness can come across as a ‘should’ or an ‘ought,’ which can add guilt to a situation already laden with hurt. To say what is probably obvious, none of us is an expert at forgiveness; and this sermon comes from someone who is still learning everyday about forgiveness, readily admitting that some days are better than other days. And yet, that is the wonder of Jesus’ message to Peter. When it comes to forgiveness, 70 X 7 means we all get to practice it daily, and sometimes when we practice, we get better. Jesus gives this response to Peter so that we can live our days beyond calculation. This is not easy, but it is hopeful because it is possible.
It may be helpful to comment on what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not permission. This teaching is from Matthew’s gospel which does not promote an ‘anything goes’ ethic. In fact, Jesus talks of ethical living even greater than the scribes and Pharisees.So, forgiveness never implies moral indifference. Neither is forgiveness approval of wrongs that have been done or errors that have been made; nor does forgiveness undo or deny any consequences that might result from what has been perpetrated. We think of the story of Joseph and his brothers. Forgiveness never accepts injustice, destruction, abuse. It is abhorrent that certainly in the past and perhaps still now the church has on occasion given the message that those who have been hurt must stay in a destructive, disempowered situation as a sign of forgiveness. Forgiveness never whitewashes harmful actions, whether that is one on one or a destructive status quo. And ironic as this may sound, forgiveness is not really something to be asked for; it is only something to be given. Too many times a person who hurts another plays the ‘forgiveness card,’ as in ‘can you forgive me for what I did,’ which only adds a ‘should’ or an ‘ought’ onto the person who is already hurting. The possible fullness of healing comes through confession, not manipulation; and the old saying “better to ask for forgiveness than permission” is not magnanimous! Forgiveness does not issue blank checks for bad behavior; instead, forgiveness offers a promissory note to a changed future.
However, in the life of faith it is never enough to say what something is not. At some point we also say what something is. Forgiveness in any relationship invites a core question about our relationships, the essence of which is, “Do we want to be right, or do we want to be in relationship?’ At a foundational level, being right at the expense of the other being wrong erodes empathy, intimacy, kindness, compassion, safety. This imbalance of power exacts a tremendous cost. While a connection might be maintained in such a dynamic, the relationship does not thrive and has only fleeting happiness, but little if any joy. So, what is our basic orientation in relationships, because the relationship absent forgiveness struggles to survive.
Forgiveness is a wondrous gift the church can model for the world. As counterintuitive as forgiveness might be, we know that the church is one of the few places in our culture that talks about, prays about, and practices forgiveness. In a culture too easily tempted toward revenge and ridicule, hostility and self-righteousness, adversarial attitudes and tribalism, blame and suspicion, the church offers an alternative way of being. The practice of forgiveness, challenging as it can be, may well be the unique gift the church can offer the world. When we say the Lord’s Prayer, we speak of forgiveness; when we offer our morning prayer, we acknowledge the need for forgiveness; when we gather at the Table we are inspired by forgiveness.
We know that forgiveness is never one size fits all. When Jesus spoke of forgiveness as 70 X 7, he was not only talking about a way of living beyond calculation but also describing that forgiveness is unique to each situation, each relationship, and that it happens over time because there are so many aspects to forgiveness. Sometimes people continue to be hurt and be hurtful. So, sometimes forgiveness is the determined decision to simply do no more harm, a pledge not to make matters worse. There are times when forgiveness can happen only after protection and safety are assured. Sometimes forgiveness cannot repair what has been damaged; however it can release people from a soul-drenching bitterness that continues to harm, which is to say forgiveness can be a gift that liberates the forgiver for a different future. Forgiveness takes time, for its lifeblood is honesty, confession, and humility—gifts crafted over time not calculated by time. It is good that the church prays for forgiveness, good that Christ encourages us in our forgiveness.
Frederick Buechner has written, “When somebody you have wronged forgives you, you are spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience; when you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you are spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride.” (Wishful Thinking, p. 29)If we live long enough, we experience both sides of that equation. More than anything, forgiveness can break a cycle. Barbara Brown Taylor observes, “forgiveness is an act of transformation…it is a quiet revolution, as easy to miss as a fist uncurling to become an open hand, but it changes people in ways that anger only wishes it could…It is scary to lay down your arms like that, to trade in pride and power on the off-chance you may discover something more valuable than either of them.” (Gospel Medicine, p. 12)
None of this is easy, so thanks be to God Jesus is our advocate who knows we need a good bit of practice at forgiving, and who with his living is modeling and seeking to restore and reconcile. We know that we are never done forgiving because here and there and now and then people miss the mark with their living; and we miss the mark with our living. So, Jesus said, you get to practice forgiveness every day, and as we know practice does not make perfect, but it does make permanent. So wherever 70 X 7 can be lived, the air is a little fresher because life grows on the currents of forgiveness. What a gracious gift it is to be like Christ.