Morning Prayer: Shannon Cook Choral Amen Hymn of Gratitude *Let All Things Now Living* Witness of Scripture: Colossians 3: 12-17 Anthem *The King of Love My Shepherd Is* arr. Vicki Hancock Wright. Logos Choir & Chancel Choir Sermon *Thanksgifting* David Spain
Recorded on November 21, 2023
At any given time, there are plenty of reasons for not being grateful.Sometimes there are health struggles, other times there are financial matters; sometimes there are family issues, other times there are professional concerns. Beyond life’s daily challenges, Mary Jo Leddy in her book Radical Gratitude descrbess the primary disposition of North American societies today as a culture of craving. “We are haunted by nightmares of scarcity,” she writes, by “fears that someone else is taking everything, that there is never enough and we will not get what we think we deserve…resulting in cravings for things we think will fill us, fix us, or make us forget our doubts and pain.” If shared by many others, the perspective of scarcity can lead to protectionism and rage. “This is not a vision of a community of gratitude, she writes, but creates “a society of ingrates.” (cited in Diana Butler Bass’s book Grateful, xviii).To be sure, where injustice and oppression exist, it is right and good to speak prophetic words of change. But this is not the focus of Leddy’s concern.She wonders why so many people perceive the glass as half-empty or more.
Like any difficult issue, there are a variety of reasons for an inclination of ingratitude. We know that any strength can have a liability. Personal responsibility and individual agency are valuable traits; however, taken to an extreme, those valuing individualism and self-reliance can perceive gratitude as a weakness, because to be grateful suggests we depend on another or are even indebted to another. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it most dramatically when he wrote, “we wish to be self-sustained. We do not quite forgive a giver.” (‘Gifts’ in Essays, Second Series, 1844)Research suggests men may struggle with this dynamic more than women.
We all are susceptible to other factors that make gratitude challenging. Fear can render gratitude almost inaccessible.Entitlement creates the perspective of getting what is deserved so why would anyone be grateful for what is rightly theirs…especially a problem when people believe what is rightly theirs is the whole pumpkin pie and not just a one slice leaving some for others. Perfectionism is an enemy to gratitude, because as the enemy of the good, perfectionism is never satisfied and never settled—there is always something wrong, and until all is set right, there is a low mumbling that never allows the mouth to smile or the voice to say thank you. The tyranny of social media with its images of the idyllic guarantees our displeasure, and it is so easily available on the phones we carry and the messages we receive. Busyness leaves no room to pause, to take a breath, because who can afford to get behind? Frenzy as a daily pattern not a temporary demand leads to exhaustion, too tired to even think of gratitude. We have all been there from time to time. We do pause this Thursday for Thanksgiving Day, and that is a very good idea—but even a national day of thanks, as originally intended, has morphed into a privatized celebration and the commercialized starting line for the dash to Christmas. At any given time, even Thanksgiving time, there are ample challenges to gratitude
The church in its wisdom offers an alternative to frantic frenzy and anxiety, and perpetual perfectionism and entitlement. The church provides a sacred space called gratitude. Our biblical book of hymns, called the Psalms, gives great voice to gratitude…”Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth…let us come into God’s presence with thanksgiving…O give thanks to the Lord, for God is good, God’s steadfast love endures forever.” The Psalmist gives voice to what might not be in our everyday vernacular. And so does Paul’s letter to the church in the small town of Colossae of Phrygia, in Asia Minor. A colleague of Paul’s had brought the good news to the Colossians, but later Paul learned there were issues and disputes, and so he wrote this letter to help orient our Colossian ancestors in the faith. The second half of the letter, part of which we heard today, offers practical wisdom for daily living. With gratitude for what God has done in Christ whom we follow, we have been given a whole new wardrobe, writes Paul. We are given the garments of compassion to wear in the midst of apathy; kindness in the midst of dismissiveness, humility in the midst of self-promotion, meekness in the midst of aggression, patience in the midst of irritability, forgiveness in the midst of vengeance, love as the coat holding all things together, and peace as the fashion for the future. And then, Paul concludes with three words of thanks—be thankful…with gratitude in your hearts sing…in word and deed do everything in Christ’s way, giving thanks to God. It is the trifecta of gratitude.
Paul’s encouragement gives us a clue that thanksgiving does not deny reality nor pretend everything is okay; instead, gratitude provides a balance and a perspective…a life giving, delightful resistance to persistent ingratitude, a recognition that we have received unexpected good even if something has been challenging. In as close to a working definition of gratitude as there is, Diana Butler Bass says gratitude is ‘a mix of love and appreciation enabling us to become our best selves in the process.’ (Grateful, 9) This Thursday, as many will gather around tables in a variety of forms to give thanks, every Sunday the church is gathered to a Table—not just any table, but a Table named gratitude, thanksgiving, eucharist. We do not simply enter God’s courts with thanksgiving; gratitude is the center of our worship. At this Table we are reminded of the unexpected gift and grace we have all received. Here is the cornucopia of God for everybody to receive and for everyone to share—whether that is an ornate Table on the high altar or a rough hewn plank in a brush arbor. Here we recall Jesus’ stories of a lavishly giving God who provides the best of all drinks for the wedding feast, who throws seeds everywhere on the ground because no place is absent the life gift of God’s grace, who invites everyone to the banquet, who wants everyone to come to the party when the wayward child has returned home, who takes a little and feeds a lot. Jesus did not invent the idea of this gracious God—that was part of his religious upbringing, for as Walter Brueggemann reminds us, “the great Jewish festivals are designed as out-pourings of gratitude by Israel who lives completely by the power and generosity of God… completely dependent upon the gifts of a good God.” (Deuteronomy: Abington Old Testament Commentaries, pp.170-178)The church proclaims that Thanksgiving is not rooted in our successes or fortune; instead, thanksgiving begins and ends with God.
So, yes at any given moment there are reasons for not being grateful. But if we examine that phrase—at any given moment—we realize there are also ample reasons for being grateful, because the truth is whether we live one day or for more than 100 years, every moment of life is given. It is all a gift, and if we are at all awake, we are grateful to someone, for something, with others, sometimes even in the midst of struggle. To be sure, gratitude cannot be forced; but it can be taught, encouraged, modeled. Parents, grandparents, adults are right and good to remind the next generations to say thank you and to practice it with one another. It is not that it is difficult; it just gets crowded out or at times it can be forgotten. So the church gathers at this Table to remember that as G.K. Chesterton said, “gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” (cited in Bass’s Grateful, p. 93).
The joyful gift of gratitude is that it has a wonderful specificity. Offer a general thank you to someone, and the response might be “thank you for what?” So, as we are about to gather at this Table, a few specific words of thanks seem appropriate. Thank you, First Christian Church of Norman for you are a place centered in eucharist, in thanksgiving—a Table not for some who qualify but for all who hunger to receive the gifts of God. You are a place that is not afraid to ask hard questions and to seek new insights.You are a place where differences of perspective and variations of beliefs are not justification for division nor dogmatism but are opportunities for reflection and inclusion. You are a place where reverence is valued and mystery is invited. You are a place where beauty in arts and music, in words and deeds are valued.You are a place that rolls up its sleeves to work alongside those who cannot do for themselves. You are a place where people do not retreat to enclaves of similarity but where those who have been around for 7 or 8 decades get on the floor with those who have barely started their first decade, and then you are there help up each other because the floor gets low. You are a place that is never reluctant to weep for one another and always ready to laugh with one another. You are a place that provides space for those in recovery and room for little ones to be nurtured. You are a place where 3 and sometimes 4 generations worship in the same pew or join in singing the same anthem. You are a place that knows you are not perfect, and so you will always press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” So it is to be gathered, centered in this Table called thanksgiving, a Table that invites each of us to be specific to…for…with…in…gratitude.
Diana Butler Bass’s book Grateful includes a variety of gratitude prayers, a sampling of which includes the following: ‘Awakening in a moment of peace I give thanks to the source of all peace; as I set forth into the day the birds sing with new voices and I listen with new ears and give thanks,” writes Harriet Kofalk. “For the freshness of this new day, thanks be to you, O God.For morning’s gift of clarity, its light like the first day’s dawn, thanks be to you. In this newborn light let us see afresh. In this gateway onto what has never been before, let our soul breathe hope for the earth, for the creatures, for the human family. Let our soul breathe hope,’ wrote John Philip Newell.
So, before we blitz through this Thursday on our way to Christmas gifting, let us take a page from the church’s wisdom…let us tap the breaks on frenzy and fear, on entitlement or envy. Let us not simply celebrate a day of thanksgiving; let us proclaim a life of thanksgifting, because that really is the gift that keeps on giving.